Do You Have Primary or Secondary Premature Ejaculation? Can You Stop Premature Ejaculation Now?

If you are a man and you a reaching orgasm before your female partner, you may be experiencing the embarrassing condition known as Premature Ejaculation or (PE). The great news for you is that there are many treatment options for this condition. I always tell my clients to start with the natural methods and turn to medications if and only if the natural methods fail. From my experience working with clients I in fact find that the natural methods work in a higher percentage of cases and are the most permanent in their effect. It also becomes very important to determine exactly what the cause of the PE is.

The problem with men who experience this problem, however, is that most of them are too embarrassed to talk about the problem. Because of that, these men are unable to seek premature ejaculation treatments for their condition and they continue to perform poorly in bed. As many know, sex is an essential part of a relationship, and if you have problems with PE, you should seek premature ejaculation treatments as soon as possible.

First step to knowing the right premature ejaculation treatments and solving your problem is by finding out the symptoms of your condition. First off, it is important to know that PE is categorized into two types; you may be suffering from primary premature ejaculation or secondary premature ejaculation. It is considered as primary PE when a man ejaculates less than 60 seconds into sexual intercourse. Studies reveal that the main reason for this occurrence is a man’s lack of confidence with the act of having sex. Or, the man may not like having sex at all, which is a possibility believe it or not!

The next step to solving your problem is to find out the root of the condition. For instance, men with erectile dysfunction, more often than not, develop problems with PE faster than others.

Usually, stress is a factor in causing PE because as nature would have it, one of the best ways to release tension and stress is ejaculating, or reaching orgasm. Thus, the more stress or tension you get in your daily life, the more likely you will have problems with PE. Aside from that, those with the fear of reaching orgasm way before their partners tend to rush things to avoid being embarrassed. It is a paradoxical phenomenon in many ways.

The following step involves the decision whether to seek premature ejaculation treatments or not. One of the bases for seeking premature ejaculation treatments is your sexual satisfaction. Furthermore, you should also consider the satisfaction of your partner.

If you are not satisfied with lasting less than 1 minute in bed, or if you just want to last longer than you normally would, then you should seek premature ejaculation treatments that would help you. Moreover, if your partner always goes unsatisfied when you have sex, then the onus is on you to find ways how to satisfy her – one way to do that is to get effective premature ejaculation treatment for your specific needs.

Now, after you have decided that you do need premature ejaculation treatments, then the next step is to find the right premature ejaculation treatment that would remedy your condition. There are several options to choose from ranging from natural treatments to other medicines. There are also antidepressant medications that can help you overcome PE. You can also seek professional advice of medical professionals to aid your situation. There are also counselors to help you cope up with whatever problems you have in your life that may be causing your PE problems.

Quite often the best possible and cheapest method for most men is learning natural methods to prolong the time they last in bed. One natural method includes the use of Kegel’s exercise. These work the muscles that will control your ejaculatory response. If you can strengthen these muscles you can learn to hold back your ejaculation. One method of working these muscles is to start urinating. Then stop the flow of urine midstream. Do this 5-10 times when you urinate and you will be working out the PC muscles and learning better how to hold back your ejaculation and last longer in bed. There are many types of Kegel’s that are worth exploring in more detail. In fact many programs offer complete training guides to help you naturally overcome premature ejaculation.

However, as I said earlier one of the hindrances men face that blocks them from seeking premature ejaculation treatments is their pride or fear of getting embarrassed. However, to fully resolve this issue, men should face their fears and swallow their pride in order to have a better, healthier sex life. A healthier sex life has been proven to help improve relationships, and besides you get to enjoy sex better.

Cure Premature Ejaculation Tip Number 1 – Understanding Its Mechanics


In this “Cure Premature Ejaculation” series, I’m going to offer you a series of tips, facts, and techniques you can learn and implement to successfully cure premature ejaculation in a majority of cases, that is in all those situations where no major clinical conditions are present.

Premature ejaculation origin is yet unclear. Many researchers and therapists however firmly believe in the psychological nature of this issue. In order to figure out how to tackle this condition successfully, one needs to line up some basic facts about ejaculation mechanics.

Premature Ejaculation Mechanics

The mechanism of ejaculation is indeed quite complicated (as all processes in the human body); in an attempt to simplify matters, one can associate it with three distinct events taking place at the same time (well, actually, in close sequence):

  • the prostate releases the semen (seminal emission),
  • the semen is squeezed out of the prostate and penis (ejaculation),
  • the bladder closes in order to avoid semen to reflow backwards into it (bladder neck closure).

For the sake of simplicity we can say that the male ejaculatory mechanism is brought up through two reflexes: the glans-vasal and urethromuscular. The former is responsible for bringing the semen to the posterior urethra (the seminal emission phase of ejaculation) while the latter, urethromuscular reflex, pumps it to the exterior (ejection phase of ejaculation).

The main muscle acting in the process of ejaculation is the bulbospongiosus: a paired, striated muscle at the base of the penis shaft. After the semen is flown into the bulbous urethra, the bulbocavernosus muscle contraction (BCM) squeezes the urethra and expels its contents.

Yes, I know, this could sound a bit too academic but keep this picture in mind as basically any unwanted behavior of your “sexual reflex” can be traced back to any or both of these two phases. For instance, once the emission phase is triggered, there is virtually no chance not to ejaculate shortly thereafter. This is why – if you don’t develop enough awareness on how aroused you are – even if you stop completely before climaxing, you are bound to climax shortly after you restart.

  • Purpose of the (nearly ubiquitous) Squeeze Technique is to train the bulbocavernosus muscle to eliminate involuntary contractions that may cause the ejaculation with minimal sexual stimulation. This approach reported by Masters and Johnson can work quite well if the person willing to cure premature ejaculation can count on a cooperative and understanding partner. The premature ejaculation sufferer receives stimulation up to the point of imminent climax. Just before release, the partner squeezes the penis head – the glans – in its base; this action has the power to interrupt the ejaculation reflex. Once the sensation of impending ejaculation has subsided, one can restart the stimulation and repeat the process again. Gradually, with practice, a man can train his body to prolong his stimulation time/intensity until ejaculation. Although functional to cure premature ejaculation, this technique has a major drawback: the effect of the squeeze goes most often beyond merely attenuating the urge to blow and many report losing erection. This is for most men – especially psichologically – worse than premature ejaculation itself.
  • Start&Stop technique. This involves sexual stimulation until the man perceives that he is about to climax. The stimulation is then ceased in order for the arousal to go down to more manageable levels. This two step technique can be reiterated until ejaculation is desired, the final time allowing the stimulation to continue until ejaculation occurs. Needless to say, this method also needs a highly cooperative partner in order to be successfully implemented to cure premature ejaculation.
  • Most often premature ejaculation occurs because the body somehow can’t cope with certain levels of stimulation; a “brute force” approach is therefore to lessen the stimulation. For this purpose a number of creams are on the market that can partially anesthetize (numb) the penis and reduce the stimulation that leads to orgasm. Another option is to use a thicker or more condoms. However, it is quite logical that these techniques may negatively affect the pleasure of the sex act.


Now you know how your premature ejaculation is the result of a two-sided reflex taking place in your body as a consequence of stimulation. I gave you a couple of well-known techniques highlighting their workings in relation to premature ejaculation mechanics. To cure premature ejaculation, you basically have two choices:

  • You train your body to withstand increasing levels of stimulation without your reflex kicking-in too early
  • You decrease your sensitivity

There are newer techniques that work far better, more effectively and bring results faster than those I explained here. Please refer to the links in the Resource Box.

Until next Tip!

How To Effectively Stop Premature Ejaculation

Premature Ejaculation (or PE) is a surprisingly common problem that regularly affects up to 30% of all men, and will affect almost every man at least once in his life. Premature Ejaculation is broadly defined as having an average Intra-Vaginal Ejaculation Latency Time (IELT) of two minutes or less (in other words, ejaculating within two minutes of penetration).

As we saw, probably every man will find himself losing control within two minutes at some time in his life, but if this happens to you quite often then you may consider yourself as a sufferer of PE. When PE occurs frequently, it can become a distressing, even debilitating problem that puts extra strain on already stressed men. If left unchecked (or worse, simply ignored) the problem can spin out of control, leading to depression, anxiety, and even the breakdown of otherwise strong relationships.

If you’re affected by frequent or severe premature ejaculation, the first thing to do is remember that you’re not alone, and that you have no need to be embarrassed or to feel in any way inadequate.

The second thing to remember is that there are many ways with which you can combat and eventually overcome – even permanently cure – this very common problem.

You need to try and get over any embarrassment that you might be feeling and realize that trying to deal with a problem like PE alone is not always easy. For those with a mild or infrequent problem, maybe you can sort it out on your own, but if you suffer with frequent, severe premature ejaculation then you ignore the help of others at your peril.


As with many other things in life, worrying too much about PE can make the problem much worse that it might otherwise be. Although many men are tempted to try and brush the problem under the carpet, by trying to deal with it alone (or worse, simply ignoring it), you should always try to involve your partner in your quest to overcome the condition, whenever this is possible. Too many men feel as though talking about their problem is an admission of some kind of failure or shortcoming – it isn’t. In almost every instance, your partner will be very happy to help and offer any support that she can. Imagine the boot is on the other foot for a moment, and that your wife or girlfriend is suffering emotionally because she does not enjoy sex as much as she would like – would you mock her, or try to help her?

Of course you would try to help her in any way you could, right? If you’re struggling with premature ejaculation and not discussing the issue with your partner, then the chances are that she is suffering emotionally too – suffering because she wants to help you, but does not know how, or suffering because she feels unfulfilled in the bedroom, but does not know how to talk to you about it.

In short, nobody wins when you just ignore premature ejaculation, and if left unchecked you could find that moderate PE becomes worse. In severe cases, some men even choose to avoid sex altogether, with usually disastrous results upon all but the very strongest of relationships.


First of all you need to determine what it is that is causing your PE, and decide just how serious your problem is. Although frequent and severe premature ejaculation have physiological causes, a large percentage of men with less frequent problems find that their condition has psychological roots. If you’re suffering with stress, anxiety or even mild depression; have a poor diet and/or do not get enough exercise; smoke or drink too much or take certain recreational drugs, then any one (or a combination) of these factors can cause, or at least exacerbate, premature ejaculation.

Addressing lifestyle issues such as these may not seem like a particularly gung-ho solution to premature ejaculation, but you’d be surprised what a healthy lifestyle and a little R&R can do for your ability to last longer in bed!

Aside from addressing problems with your lifestyle, there are many other ways that you can deal with PE. Below you can find our


1. Mental Training and Discipline

Learning to recognize the approach of ejaculation before it becomes too late is an important part of overcoming most forms of PE in the longer term. Practice through masturbation or with your partner. When you feel yourself beginning to lose control, stop thrusting or even withdraw from your partner and wait until you feel back in control. This can be an intensely frustrating way to tackle the problem at first, but with time, training and discipline you can learn to recognize the approach of your orgasm before it is too late, and train yourself to last longer.

You can also try thinking of other things, such as gardening, washing your car, work that you need to do… anything that takes your mind of your pleasure and lets you last longer. Just don’t get too distracted, or your partner might worry that you are not enjoying your intimacy together. Of course this problem can be avoided if you have already discussed PE with your partner.

Another note on this topic – if you’ve ever come across ebooks and training guides such as Ejaculation By Command then you’ll know that there is some conflicting advice about how best to train yourself. If you opt for one of these guides, it’s important to stick with one form of training at a time – flitting from one course to another is not only expensive but can also be counterproductive.

2. The Squeeze or Pinch Technique

This technique requires an understanding partner, but is very effective if used correctly. It works on the same principle as the ‘Stop and Start’ mental disciplines outlined above, with the exception that you pull out of your partner just before the critical moment, and gently squeeze or pinch your urethra near the head of your penis, until you regain control. You can repeat this process as many times as you need to.

3. Kegel Exercises

Kegel exercises involve rhythmically contracting and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles. This technique – employed by many women to help prevent incontinence – strengthens the muscles that contract involuntarily upon ejaculation. By strengthening these muscles you can help to hold back your ejaculation for longer. Better still, you can perform Kegel exercises any time you like – try doing sets of ten while you’re sitting at your desk, or while watching TV.

4. Thick Condoms

Not the most glamorous or enjoyable solution, but wearing an extra thick condom can greatly reduce the sensitivity and pleasure you enjoy during sex, allowing you to last longer. If you lose control quickly, then reducing your pleasure is not always such a bad thing!

5. Desensitizing or Anesthetic Creams or Sprays

There are several products on the market that can help you to last longer in bed by slightly numbing your penis, reducing sensation. These can be effective, although many men find the loss of sensation frustrating. You must also always be careful not to allow the product to numb your partner’s vagina, as this will prevent her from enjoying sex as much as she should.

6. Premature Ejaculation Pills

There are a range of herbal pills to prevent premature ejaculation on the market, most of which are effective when used correctly, some of which can offer a permanent solution.

7. Talk to Your Doctor about SSRIs

Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) are medicines that are prescribed to sufferers of depression, anxiety, and mild psychosis. It has long been known that one of their most frequent side effects is to cause a delay in ejaculation time – sometimes complete anorgasmia (an inability to achieve orgasm at all). Obviously these drugs should not be considered unless you are very concerned by your premature ejaculation, as they can have some unpleasant side effects. In some European countries an SSRI called Dapoxetine is available specifically to treat PE, and is so far the only SSRI licensed solely for this purpose. In the USA the drug is still – at the time of writing – undergoing the last stages of clinical testing before approval for license, however many doctors will consider prescribing Fluoxetine (Prozac®), Citalopram, or Paroxetine (Seroxat®) to men who are very worried about their PE. Of course, if you are actually suffering with depression because of your problem (or for any other reason), they will rarely hesitate to prescribe one of these drugs.


There are many effective ways to stop premature ejaculation and gain greater confidence in the bedroom, and our list above is by no means exhaustive. If you find yourself becoming anxious or distressed about your timing, then try to find a way that works best for you and for your partner. Natural and mental disciplines are usually the best way forward, unless your problem becomes a serious concern, in which case you should talk to your doctor before you become too worried or even depressed about PE.

Help is always at hand, and with around 30% of men suffering PE at some stage in their lives, you are never alone and have nothing to fear, or to be embarrassed about. By tackling PE you can increase the pleasure and happiness that both you and your partner feel in the bedroom, and in your everyday lives.