Premature Ejaculation (or PE) is a surprisingly common problem that regularly affects up to 30% of all men, and will affect almost every man at least once in his life. Premature Ejaculation is broadly defined as having an average Intra-Vaginal Ejaculation Latency Time (IELT) of two minutes or less (in other words, ejaculating within two minutes of penetration).
As we saw, probably every man will find himself losing control within two minutes at some time in his life, but if this happens to you quite often then you may consider yourself as a sufferer of PE. When PE occurs frequently, it can become a distressing, even debilitating problem that puts extra strain on already stressed men. If left unchecked (or worse, simply ignored) the problem can spin out of control, leading to depression, anxiety, and even the breakdown of otherwise strong relationships.
If you’re affected by frequent or severe premature ejaculation, the first thing to do is remember that you’re not alone, and that you have no need to be embarrassed or to feel in any way inadequate.
The second thing to remember is that there are many ways with which you can combat and eventually overcome – even permanently cure – this very common problem.
You need to try and get over any embarrassment that you might be feeling and realize that trying to deal with a problem like PE alone is not always easy. For those with a mild or infrequent problem, maybe you can sort it out on your own, but if you suffer with frequent, severe premature ejaculation then you ignore the help of others at your peril.
DON’T LET ANXIETY OR FEAR MAKE THINGS WORSE!
As with many other things in life, worrying too much about PE can make the problem much worse that it might otherwise be. Although many men are tempted to try and brush the problem under the carpet, by trying to deal with it alone (or worse, simply ignoring it), you should always try to involve your partner in your quest to overcome the condition, whenever this is possible. Too many men feel as though talking about their problem is an admission of some kind of failure or shortcoming – it isn’t. In almost every instance, your partner will be very happy to help and offer any support that she can. Imagine the boot is on the other foot for a moment, and that your wife or girlfriend is suffering emotionally because she does not enjoy sex as much as she would like – would you mock her, or try to help her?
Of course you would try to help her in any way you could, right? If you’re struggling with premature ejaculation and not discussing the issue with your partner, then the chances are that she is suffering emotionally too – suffering because she wants to help you, but does not know how, or suffering because she feels unfulfilled in the bedroom, but does not know how to talk to you about it.
In short, nobody wins when you just ignore premature ejaculation, and if left unchecked you could find that moderate PE becomes worse. In severe cases, some men even choose to avoid sex altogether, with usually disastrous results upon all but the very strongest of relationships.
SO HOW CAN I STOP PREMATURE EJACULATION?
First of all you need to determine what it is that is causing your PE, and decide just how serious your problem is. Although frequent and severe premature ejaculation have physiological causes, a large percentage of men with less frequent problems find that their condition has psychological roots. If you’re suffering with stress, anxiety or even mild depression; have a poor diet and/or do not get enough exercise; smoke or drink too much or take certain recreational drugs, then any one (or a combination) of these factors can cause, or at least exacerbate, premature ejaculation.
Addressing lifestyle issues such as these may not seem like a particularly gung-ho solution to premature ejaculation, but you’d be surprised what a healthy lifestyle and a little R&R can do for your ability to last longer in bed!
Aside from addressing problems with your lifestyle, there are many other ways that you can deal with PE. Below you can find our
TOP 7 WAYS TO STOP PREMATURE EJACULATION
1. Mental Training and Discipline
Learning to recognize the approach of ejaculation before it becomes too late is an important part of overcoming most forms of PE in the longer term. Practice through masturbation or with your partner. When you feel yourself beginning to lose control, stop thrusting or even withdraw from your partner and wait until you feel back in control. This can be an intensely frustrating way to tackle the problem at first, but with time, training and discipline you can learn to recognize the approach of your orgasm before it is too late, and train yourself to last longer.
You can also try thinking of other things, such as gardening, washing your car, work that you need to do… anything that takes your mind of your pleasure and lets you last longer. Just don’t get too distracted, or your partner might worry that you are not enjoying your intimacy together. Of course this problem can be avoided if you have already discussed PE with your partner.
Another note on this topic – if you’ve ever come across ebooks and training guides such as Ejaculation By Command then you’ll know that there is some conflicting advice about how best to train yourself. If you opt for one of these guides, it’s important to stick with one form of training at a time – flitting from one course to another is not only expensive but can also be counterproductive.
2. The Squeeze or Pinch Technique
This technique requires an understanding partner, but is very effective if used correctly. It works on the same principle as the ‘Stop and Start’ mental disciplines outlined above, with the exception that you pull out of your partner just before the critical moment, and gently squeeze or pinch your urethra near the head of your penis, until you regain control. You can repeat this process as many times as you need to.
3. Kegel Exercises
Kegel exercises involve rhythmically contracting and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles. This technique – employed by many women to help prevent incontinence – strengthens the muscles that contract involuntarily upon ejaculation. By strengthening these muscles you can help to hold back your ejaculation for longer. Better still, you can perform Kegel exercises any time you like – try doing sets of ten while you’re sitting at your desk, or while watching TV.
4. Thick Condoms
Not the most glamorous or enjoyable solution, but wearing an extra thick condom can greatly reduce the sensitivity and pleasure you enjoy during sex, allowing you to last longer. If you lose control quickly, then reducing your pleasure is not always such a bad thing!
5. Desensitizing or Anesthetic Creams or Sprays
There are several products on the market that can help you to last longer in bed by slightly numbing your penis, reducing sensation. These can be effective, although many men find the loss of sensation frustrating. You must also always be careful not to allow the product to numb your partner’s vagina, as this will prevent her from enjoying sex as much as she should.
6. Premature Ejaculation Pills
There are a range of herbal pills to prevent premature ejaculation on the market, most of which are effective when used correctly, some of which can offer a permanent solution.
7. Talk to Your Doctor about SSRIs
Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) are medicines that are prescribed to sufferers of depression, anxiety, and mild psychosis. It has long been known that one of their most frequent side effects is to cause a delay in ejaculation time – sometimes complete anorgasmia (an inability to achieve orgasm at all). Obviously these drugs should not be considered unless you are very concerned by your premature ejaculation, as they can have some unpleasant side effects. In some European countries an SSRI called Dapoxetine is available specifically to treat PE, and is so far the only SSRI licensed solely for this purpose. In the USA the drug is still – at the time of writing – undergoing the last stages of clinical testing before approval for license, however many doctors will consider prescribing Fluoxetine (Prozac®), Citalopram, or Paroxetine (Seroxat®) to men who are very worried about their PE. Of course, if you are actually suffering with depression because of your problem (or for any other reason), they will rarely hesitate to prescribe one of these drugs.
There are many effective ways to stop premature ejaculation and gain greater confidence in the bedroom, and our list above is by no means exhaustive. If you find yourself becoming anxious or distressed about your timing, then try to find a way that works best for you and for your partner. Natural and mental disciplines are usually the best way forward, unless your problem becomes a serious concern, in which case you should talk to your doctor before you become too worried or even depressed about PE.
Help is always at hand, and with around 30% of men suffering PE at some stage in their lives, you are never alone and have nothing to fear, or to be embarrassed about. By tackling PE you can increase the pleasure and happiness that both you and your partner feel in the bedroom, and in your everyday lives.